Renewed - Beautiful bridge of light / Pauliina's Experience 🤍
Updated: 4 hours ago
Rivers of Convergence — Unity Gathering
An extension of the Divine Codes Journey
There are some experiences that cannot easily be condensed into a few paragraphs.
Pauliina wrote a beautiful and extensive reflection following our Rivers of Convergence — Unity Gathering in Finland, an extension inspired by the Divine Codes Journey and the Sound Attunement work carried from our journeys in Egypt.
Her complete reflection spans many pages, moving through her life before the gathering, what brought her to Finland, the experiences she had while there, and what began unfolding when she returned home.
What follows is not her complete testimony.
In Pauliina's Own Words
For anyone wondering what it felt like to be there...
"I knew I needed to be there."
"I had no expectations and travelled there with an open heart."
"They created a beautiful and safe place for us to share for the whole weekend."
"We moved, sang and prayed together."
"Eventually, my entire body relaxed completely."
"It was as if I had let go of control."
"At the very moment Emel baptized me, the sun cast a beautiful bridge of light straight toward me." 🌊
"I was actually booked for a performance!"
"I fearlessly said yes." 🎶
"Love within me found more room to breathe." 🤍
"The first version of my first composition was ready."
"Dreams can come true when we are brave. When we act from a place of trust, even though we do not know the final outcome."
"You realise that you have always been chosen, loved, and safe exactly as you are."
And perhaps the sentence that captures the journey most beautifully:
"My journey... began long before the event itself and continues even now—more beautiful and more real than before."
Before the Gathering
Long before arriving in Finland, she had already been moving through questions of belonging, acceptance, shame, love, faith and identity.
One of the deepest beliefs she carried was:
"I always thought I wasn't good enough for anyone."
She describes periods of immense emotional pain, but also moments of praying aloud to Jesus and God and gradually recognising that she did not have to carry everything herself.
Within that process came another understanding:
"I was loved and enough."
"I didn't have to carry it all."
Pauliina had actually been following the earlier Divine Codes Journeys to Egypt. She had considered applying, but at the time her heart was broken and she recognised that she wasn't ready for that particular journey.
Then came Finland.
She had never previously attended a retreat or really any spiritual event, yet when she saw the invitation, something within her responded:
"When Emel posted that this one will take place in Finland, I knew I needed to be there and applied."
"I had no expectations and travelled there with an open heart."
What She Found When She Arrived
One of the first things Pauliina speaks about is the environment that was created.
"Emel and Dermot were very welcoming and they created a beautiful and safe place for us to share for the whole weekend."
"We moved, sang and prayed together."
This feeling of safety became particularly important because Pauliina had brought something with her that she wasn't sure she would have the courage to share.
Before the retreat she had written a deeply personal text called Back to Paradise.
Initially, she considered keeping it to herself.
But during conversations with people she had never met before, she began hearing words and phrases that appeared within her own writing.
Eventually, she chose to stand before the group and read it.
During that sharing, she was told that teaching might form part of her path.
For someone who had previously described feeling ashamed of revealing her inner experiences and afraid that others might not understand her, simply allowing herself to be heard became an important part of the weekend.
“Let your light shine” became important during the retreat
Emel spoke during the gathering about Jesus’ teaching that a lamp is not lit and then hidden under a basket, but placed where its light can be seen.
Pauliina interpreted this as encouragement to share the light and gifts we have been given.
What the Bible verse was: Luke 8:16 The Parable of the Revealed Light 16 “No one, when he has lit a lamp, covers it with a vessel or puts it under a bed, but sets it on a lampstand, that those who enter may see the light.
Matthew 5:14-16 - New King James Version 14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
It contributed to her decision to share a poem she had previously kept private:
“This means we should share the light and the gifts we have been given.”
The Sound Attunement
One of the central experiences came during our Sound Attunement, modelled after the sessions held within the Queen's Chamber during the Divine Codes Journey in Egypt.
As the session unfolded, she describes her body beginning to tremble slightly and her breathing becoming deeper.
Rather than resisting what she was experiencing, she surrendered to it.
"Eventually, my entire body relaxed completely."
And then:
"It was as if I had let go of control."
Someone beside her held her hand, and she describes eventually finding herself in:
"A lovely, warm embrace where I could weep."
It is one of the simplest moments in her entire reflection, yet perhaps one of the most powerful:
Surrender. Being held. Allowing herself to feel.
Entering the Water 🌊
Later came her baptism. Pauliina entered the river wearing white.
She had previously carried a genuine fear of entering water that was too cold because she worried something might happen to her heart.
This meant that entering the river also became an opportunity to face something she had feared.
"At the very moment Emel baptized me, the sun cast a beautiful bridge of light straight toward me."
"...now I had to face that fear, and in doing so, it was renewed."
Finding My Voice 🎶
Another part of Pauliina's story during our dong circles, we encourage all to bring part of themselves. She told us that she had once wanted to become a singer.
During the gathering, she stood in front of the others and sang "Remember Me" — a song she had previously struggled with during a performance. This time, she allowed herself to sing it again. And afterwards, something unexpected happened:
"I was actually booked for a performance!"
She didn't have a repertoire prepared. But instead of retreating back into fear:
"I fearlessly said yes." One of the joy's of what this retreat can bring to those who come.
What Happened After She Went Home
This is perhaps one of the most important parts of Pauliina's reflection.
The gathering didn't suddenly make every difficult emotion disappear.
After returning home, she still encountered fear, loneliness, uncertainty, shame and old feelings of inadequacy. But something about the way she met those feelings had begun to change.
She wrote:
"I had to face my own shame."
And eventually:
"Love within me found more room to breathe."
Her creativity also began moving. At the gathering she had spoken about wanting to create her own song.
The morning after leaving, lyrics began to come to her.
She reached out to people who had previously offered to help her bring that dream to life.
Within days:
"The first version of my first composition was ready."
And Pauliina drew her own conclusion from that experience:
"Dreams can come true when we are brave. When we act from a place of trust, even though we do not know the final outcome."
Perhaps the Greatest Contrast 🤍
At the beginning of her story was the belief:
"I always thought I wasn't good enough for anyone."
Later, she writes:
"...you realise that you have always been chosen, loved, and safe exactly as you are."
And perhaps that is one of the most important things to take from her experience with us on this Retreat. She left with the courage to share something she had hidden, surrender control, face fear, sing again, say yes to an opportunity, begin creating her own music, and continue exploring her relationship with God, love and herself.
Pauliina herself says:
"I am so grateful for this experience so far and excited about what will be ahead."
And she closes with this beautiful hope:
"May this story continue with renewed heart and emerging wisdom among us and may our next verse be full of love, joy, trust, sharing our light, praising and calling God and each other on our paths in the new garden of true love."
After returning home, Pauliina visited her mother. She explains that the river where she had been baptised at the retreat originates near her great-grandmother’s home. Then, while her children were playing, she writes:
“Suddenly, amidst his playing, my older son shouted, ‘Mommy got married.’”
And moments later:
“My younger son said, ‘Mommy, look—I got the keys to Jesus’s home.’” 🗝️✝️
She also describes noticing her mother’s hymnbook immediately afterwards, whose first hymn began, “Rejoice, O bride, and hasten to meet Him. Your King arrives…”
If You Feel Called to Read More
If something within her words speaks to you, you are warmly invited to read her complete reflection for yourself here. 🤍
These are only selected moments from Pauliina's much larger reflection.
If something in this short account has spoken to your heart, you are invited to read Pauliina's complete reflection in her own words.
Sometimes another person's experience isn't there to tell us what ours will be.
It simply shows us what can happen when we arrive with an open heart and allow our own journey to unfold. 🤍🕊️
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